Normal Matters

Our "normal life" matters

Alone But Not Alone

Is there a way to be alone but not feel alone? If there is, what is it?

From personal experience, at least from the perspective of married life followed again by single life, I believe there is.

After graduating with a four-year university degree, I married.  Then, just under a year later, a traffic accident took the life of my wife.  And I felt alone. As I should have. But the loneliness didn’t last. Having been single since she passed over 25 years ago, I learned to live alone without feeling lonely.

  • I interact with God. He speaks to me through His Word, through other people and in my own mind as I meditate on what He has said. I pray. I know He hears. I have seen Him answer, not always in the way I expected or prayed for, but He answered.  I know God is alive; Jesus is my Savior; His Spirit lives in me. At no time am I really alone.
  • I attend church and have friends there. There is an acceptance that exists among those who are part of God’s family.  We worship together. We do activities outside of church together.
  • I read books, fiction and nonfiction, and find myself in the worlds the authors have created. I learn to know the characters, even what they are thinking!  There is companionship with the characters in the world of books. Loneliness does not exist.
  • Even though living alone, I have people around me and can always reach out to them for conversation and company.  I interact with friends.
  • I have a family. Although living many miles away, they still provide the love and acceptance I have enjoyed all my life.
  • I have a cat. There is something about having a pet that takes away loneliness. Caring for and enjoying the presence of my cat provides companionship, not human of course, but companionship nonetheless.

So you see, one need not be a loner to enjoy being alone. And being alone does not mean being lonely. Having a relationship with God is crucial. Worshipping with other believers and personally interacting with God through prayer and His Word is amazing.

Enjoying relationships with friends and coworkers, phone conversations, and reading, all mitigate against loneliness. And having a pet provides both companionship and a sense of purpose by simply having a living being that needs and enjoys being with me. Even though alone, I am not alone!

About Wade Flaming

Wade is a both a writer and simulation software engineer. He grew up on a farm in the central United States and works as a contractor for a company writing aircraft simulation software. He enjoys writing software as well as observations of day-to-day normal life matters.

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